What I’ve Learned in 2010

This post is a log of everything I’ve learned in 2010 — I’m starting it on January 5th and will be appending it as the year progresses. It will automatically post at 11:59pm on December 31st.

So, here’s what I’ve learned, in order:

• Getting enough fiber in your diet is important. I won’t go into the ugly details. You’ll have to trust me on this one.

• Simple things — like changing a headlight bulb in an ’05 Subaru WRX — are not easy when the temps are in the single-digits and you’re operating in the dark by flashlight.

• I already knew that you were not supposed to wear gloves when working with a drill press. You should probably wear gloves when working with a bench grinder, unless you like having your thumb ground into hamburger.

• Never swear, honk, and make obscene gestures at someone driving in inclement conditions until you know who it is. It might be your mother.

• People will surprise you. People that you thought were complete douchebags will turn out to be really nice people 19 years later.

• Never wear a red dress shirt to Target. Every two minutes, you will be asked if you work there. When the answer is “no”, people will still expect you to help them.

• It is very easy to get drunk at a swim-up bar. I suspect my subconscious looked at all that water and said, “Eh, what’s another glass of tequila compared to all this?”

• If you’re in your late-30s, you can outlast the 20-somethings at the bar. You will, however, pay for it for much longer than they will.

• Anyone interested in alternative energy sources should watch a three year-old run around the Children’s Museum like a howler monkey on methamphetamine.

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