God, what a fucking shit year. As a whole, I would love to drag it out in the alley, beat it until it begged for death, and then put a bullet in it.1 Violent metaphor aside, I guess I’d just like a do-over on 2016, because reality as taken a walk off the fucking map.
First, the Venting
I’m not even going to mention the personal portion of this — because this isn’t about me. It’s about all of us. (The personal portion has sucked like whoa, too.)
Wow, 2016, could you shit on me — and everyone else — a little more? Where do I begin? The deaths of countless amazing musicians — Prince, Leonard Cohen, David Bowie, Sharon Jones, Merle Haggard, Glenn Frey, and as I write this draft, December hasn’t quite gotten underway yet. Or the Zika virus outbreak? Or Black Lives Matter being labeled thugs and terrorists because they have a legitimate complaint and exercise their right to protest?
Although, when compared to the things above, the fact that the United States of America put a fucking racist, misogynist, lying fuckwit waste of carbon into the fucking WHITE HOUSE and then fucking shrugged its collective shoulders while he staffed up with climate change deniers, Neo-Nazis, and a retinue of woefully unqualified shit stains, some dead musicians doesn’t seem too noteworthy anymore.
Oh, and atmospheric CO2 passed 400ppm this year. We’re completely and thoroughly fucked and no one realizes it. If you own property in Florida near the coast, I’d highly suggest you sell to some climate change denier and then promptly GTFO.
Bright Points
In 2016, there’s damned few of them. So few, that I feel like naming them now just makes them appear small and insignificant against the Mountain of Shit™ that they’d be compared to.
So Fuck 2016!
Here’s to 2017! Here’s to a quick impeachment of Trump. Here’s to more Marvel movies and Star Wars movies. Better and more sex. Slowing down and enjoying life a bit. Here’s to seeing my old Army buddies in Las Vegas. Here’s to bike rides and snuggling with kitties and new tattoos. Here’s to making myself better not just for myself but the people around me, too. Here’s to fun. Here’s to having days when we won’t have to think about politics, or cancer, or death.