I believe that the best way to determine how someone is going to treat you is to watch how they treat other people. I believe that more manufacturers should work toward selling items that can be repaired in a home workshop — and that the trend toward making goods disposable has really harmed the tinkerer/manufacturer mindset of this country (not to mention the environment). I believe that cyclocross belongs in the Olympics — as a winter event. I believe that there’s no such thing as an unhappy florist — and that there’s an important lesson there. I believe that opportunities to improve our lives are all around us — we just need to slow down and look at them. I believe that the Olympics are now a complete shitshow — corporate sponsorship and IOC demands are disgusting, and having pro athletes violates the spirit of the games. That said, I also believe that adding the refugee team to the Olympics was genius, and should have been done 50 years ago. I believe the joy of a good “yo momma” joke.1 I believe the children are our fut–aw fuck, I can’t even say that with a straight face. I believe in separating the quality of an artist’s work from their personality/actions. I believe that Elon Musk — between SpaceX and Tesla — is going to be the most influential person of the first half of the 21st century. I believe Apple has drinked its own Kool-Aid and that they’ve iterated several products into uselessness while failing to create anything truly innovative since the iPad. I believe if someone’s life is constantly embroiled in drama or filled with non-stop “bad luck”, they are likely to be a key contributor. I believe a new metaphor for a computer interface would be great, but the desktop metaphor just makes so goddamned much sense that it’d be hard to unseat it. I believe that at some point these lists will start getting repetitive. I believe that the baseball, hockey and basketball seasons are too long, and the football schedule is just right. I believe that people are generally good. I believe that people shouldn’t try to be their child’s friends. I believe that humankind, while flawed, is capable of creating miraculous works. I believe that peace is possible. I believe that war can be necessary. I believe that the friendship of a cat is worth more than the blind loyalty of a dog. I believe that if you don’t like your family, you can build one of your own. I believe in confronting one’s fears. I believe in that everyone is more brave than they realize. I believe that everyone is interesting in some way. I believe in myself.
Yo momma so fat, her patronus is a cake.↩