So as some of you may have noticed on Twitter/FB yesterday, things have been kind of craptastic lately. The past three consecutive weeks have been among the toughest I’ve faced since leaving the military, and while there are times I’ve thought I’d break, I seem to be starting to turn it around.
So in the last three weeks the following shit has happened:
- Kate’s mental health has continued to spiral downward and I, not being a trained professional, had no idea how to help.
- The work insanity has continued to accelerate.
- Kate’s best friend dropped the “choose between your husband and me” bomb, because I’m clearly the one to blame for all of Kate’s mental health problems because I am “selfish” and she and the kids “would be better off without me.”1
- I had a vasectomy and by doctor’s orders was to move and do as little as possible for the first two days.2
- The day after the vasectomy (Saturday), my sister-in-law lost her long fight with cancer.
- That Sunday, the shit that Kate’s friend had said about me being selfish and lazy were getting to me, so I tried to do too much and I threw out my back (and hurt my balls some more) and I wound up in Urgent Care for painkillers and muscle relaxers.
- Blasted through a shortened work week, and then flew to Detroit on Friday for Alex’s funeral, only to fly home on Saturday evening, with lots of delays.
- Closed on the house after it passed the radon remediation test. Started hemorrhaging money.
- Had a disaster of a bike commute — so much so that I nearly gave up on the sport altogether. Or had a nervous breakdown. Which resulted in a huge fight with Kate.
- Did have a “Freedom Friday” so I could decompress. Felt guilty at times, but desperately needed it.
- Kate started a day-program for dealing with the depression. And the first day asked her to move out of the house as they were worried about her ability to make progress when her trigger (the kids) were around her all the time.
- Kate moved to the Minneapolis house on Tuesday night and the boys and I were flying solo as of 7pm, which is fine. I can handle this.
The Wednesday from Hell
So yesterday I took the kids to daycare at 0800 and got right down to work at home. Spent four hours on a series of conference calls — at some point during which my Mac Mini, which has served me faithfully for over seven years, finally shit the bed in magnificently complex fashion. Done. So I sighed. Thought about the budget, my computing habits, my impending plans to get back to freelancing, and decided to see what it would take to get a new Mac. I applied for credit and was immediately approved, including 18 months interest-free. Great. Then I called Kate. She said to go for it. So, shaking like a leaf at the thought of spending that kind of money, I purchased a new 13″ MacbookPro (Retina) for pickup at Southdale, committing us to $2000 in spending. Waited for confirmation email. Got it. Drove to Southdale. Went in. Picked up the laptop. Walked out to car. Seven minutes elapsed. In those seven minutes, someone hit the Honda while it was parked, and did roughly $1000 worth of damage. Fuck me. Total spend for day: $3000.
At home, I was going to prepare dinner for the boys. Preheated the oven to 400 degrees. Fifteen minutes later, I smell plasticky smoke and open the oven. There is a fire. In the oven. It is fire and burning and orange and oh fuck in the oven. I throw a pot of water on it and extinguish it. Logistics ensue. Whole crazy debacle. Assuming the oven is in the $750 range, plus the gas in the tank earlier, plus Kate’s spending that day on the new house, means $4000 in mostly-unforeseen costs. In a single day.
Today is Better
I fucking crushed it this morning. From 0600 to 0800, I got all three of us fed, cleaned, dressed, and out the door. Plus fixed two massive diaper blowouts, and cleaned up the kitchen, dining room, living room, and entryway. Oh, and snagged all the materials I have to get to the bank for deposit. Got to work in 32 minutes. Great mix on the random shuffle this morning.
Who’s the man? Me. It’s me. No, not your answer. Me.
Actually, I’m entirely not mad about it — she can blame me for whatever she likes, but she hasn’t exactly been privy to our marriage for the last three years. I’d almost like to actually have a conversation with her about the matter just to get an idea of WTF brought her to this conclusion, nevermind the fact that she kicked her best friend to the curb at a time when that friend very badly needed her. (Apparently tweeted 151 times in a two-day span which is, y’know, a sign that I’m completely resistant to doing anything for my wife and I’m a selfish asshole.)↩
Aforementioned friend also judged this to be bullshit and that I was just lazy. And it’s not like I “pumped out a kid.”↩