Five Reasons I Should Stop Doing These Lists of Five Things
1. They’re generally not funny. 2. They take time away from “real” writing. 3. Uninspired crap. 4. I sometimes have a hard time coming up with five things. 5.
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Five Incense Smells That I Could Really Get Behind
1. Books-and-coffee (Barnes & Noble). 2. There’s no such thing as worthwhile incense. 3. Seriously. Shut up. 4. It doesn’t matter if everyone in college does it. 5. You don’t have to do it, too. Be your own person.
Five Things I’d REALLY Do If I Won the Lottery
1. Grant at least 20% of my winnings to charity — Home for Life, the ASPCA, and other animal charities would likely top the list. 2. Have my own CubeSat launched, to look at the viability of an M2P2 mag sail. Because I am a giant dork. 3. Travel the world/completely nuke my bucket list. … Read more
Five Weird Things About Me
1. I have a Pavlovian response to the word “lemonade.” If I hear the word, read it, or even think it, my mouth starts watering. This is awesome when I’m hungover and have horrible cottom-mouth. Just think “lemonade!” and woosh!–problem solved! 2. Since the age of eight, I have had this weird tendency to look … Read more
Five Reasons I’m Looking Forward to a Super-Flu Pandemic
1. 99.9% fewer drivers on the road and interfering with my cycling. 2. Finally! Time to catch up on all my reading! 3. Danarchy! 4. Super-Flu can only mean the development of Super NyQuil. The Q will actually be bigger than the bottle. 5. Never going to have to be disappointed by them remaking the … Read more
Five Skills the Army Teaches You That You ACTUALLY CAN Use in Real Life™
1. Paperwork! Paperwork! Paperwork! 2. Looking busy. 3. How to administer an IV drip. (Great cure for a hangover. Just sayin’.) 4. A casual disregard for personal well-being. Sick call/hospitals are for losers. 5. Push-ups are an acceptable form of punishment when someone has fucked up.
Five Ways in Which I Am TOTALLY Awesome
So I recently published a list of the five reasons I’m not awesome. I was resistant to posting anything like this entry, as I have come 1. I am well-read. I live in a country where one in four people over the age of 18 doesn’t read a single book in a year, and the … Read more
Five Ways in Which I am NOT Awesome
So I originally started writing this as a “Five Reasons I am Awesome” post, but man. That pulled up some aspects of my personality that I’ve worked very hard to shave down and keep in check. Also, given my general contempt for whining, I am going to follow up each entry with what I’m doing … Read more
5 Ideas for Future “List of Five” Posts
1. Five Ways in Which I Just “Mailed It In” 2. Five Ways in Which I am Awesome 3. Five Ways in Which I am Not Awesome 4. Five Reasons Google Should Hire Me 5. Five Reasons I Live in Minnesota Even Though I Hate These Miserable-Assed Winters That Make Me Want to Commit Seppuku
Five Crossover Events I Hope to See In My Lifetime
Much like the new twists on traditional products (“Pepsi Blue? Sweet! Oh wait! Eww!”), and like any good geek, I cannot resist crossover events. This is why I got sucked into the Marvel Comics universe when I was in my late teens and early twenties. In honor of that, here’s my list of of crossovers … Read more