1. Grant at least 20{3b4d110c5d1596d2297e6430d163d306168bc3d03da137601e3ed8beb4b12205} of my winnings to charity — Home for Life, the ASPCA, and other animal charities would likely top the list. 2. Have my own CubeSat launched, to look at the viability of an M2P2 mag sail. Because I am a giant dork. 3. Travel the world/completely nuke my bucket list. … Read more
1. I have a Pavlovian response to the word “lemonade.” If I hear the word, read it, or even think it, my mouth starts watering. This is awesome when I’m hungover and have horrible cottom-mouth. Just think “lemonade!” and woosh!–problem solved! 2. Since the age of eight, I have had this weird tendency to look … Read more
1. 99.9% fewer drivers on the road and interfering with my cycling. 2. Finally! Time to catch up on all my reading! 3. Danarchy! 4. Super-Flu can only mean the development of Super NyQuil. The Q will actually be bigger than the bottle. 5. Never going to have to be disappointed by them remaking the … Read more
Much like the new twists on traditional products (“Pepsi Blue? Sweet! Oh wait! Eww!”), and like any good geek, I cannot resist crossover events. This is why I got sucked into the Marvel Comics universe when I was in my late teens and early twenties. In honor of that, here’s my list of of crossovers … Read more
1. That time when I accidentally superglued my butt to the top of my desk. 2. That time when I had to go so so bad that I took a dump out of the back of a deuce-and-a-half while stuck in a traffic jam in Seoul.1 3. The night that I was so drunk that … Read more
1. The Pedal Pub. Jesus, can you imagine? 2. Anything made by Dodge. Because every Dodge I’ve ever seen that’s older than two years looks and feels completely fucking ghetto. 3. A Smart Car. For starters, I’m 6’2″ — me getting into a Smart Car is like an elephant trying to fuck a chihuahua. Sad. … Read more
Note that this post serves as a counterpoint to my previous list, Five Places I Never Want to Live. 1. Austin, Texas. 2. San Francisco, California. 3. Bora Bora. 4. Vancouver, British Columbia. 5. Italy.
1. A Twitter list manager that’s actually fucking usable and not a giant security risk. 2. Decent Strava plugin for WordPress. 3. An implementation of micropayments for content and downloads using cryptocurrencies. 4. A life metrics platform. Something that’s useful for doing everything from tracking sleep, exercise, food, to-do lists (productivity), health, etc., all rolled … Read more
1. The Big Lebowski 2. Battlestar Galactica (RDM version) 3. Cloverfielda 4. Human Centipedeb 5. NES Classics: Zelda, Mario, Metroid, Kid Icarus, etc. a. This would be a bunch of Town LEGO sets shipped with missing pieces. b. Okay, maybe not this one.
Fully fund the most absolutely ridiculous Kickstarter projects I could find. I want to see socially awkward geeks on stage reading terrible poetry while swinging razor sharp swords to a smoke-and-lasers show. Build a monument to Schadenfreude. This would probably be a beautifully ornate granite statue of a soaking-wet Goth falling down a flight of … Read more